Diary – 2020, October 21, 2:15 IST

Dear Diary,

Another Long Night. Maybe It Really Is Just Periods. But Either Ways I Hate It So Much… It Hurts A Lot. Unbearably. I Am Thinking About Death Once Again. And I Wonder Too Much… What If It’s Really Better After It? I Wish I Could Find Out For Certain… I Wish I Could… Not Live. I’m Tired In The Way I Don’t Have Words To Tell Anymore. But Unfortunately I’m Just Not Tired Enough To Let It Be Just Thought. It’s Getting Too Dark. The Wall Appears To Be Building Again. It’s Scarier Than Ever, It All. Just So Mundane, Lifeless. And I Figure It’d Be Poetic To Go Away The Same I Came. But Guess Just I’m Giving Myself Time. To Reconsider. Only Why? Wish Was Not Human. Figure It’d Be Easier. Better. Maybe. No. I Don’t Think So. Human Is Best. There’s Still Warmth. No People But Still Warmth. Life Must Go On. It’d Be Better Off Yes And It’d Make No Difference No But No. Just No. Just A While Longer, I’ll Try. Have To. I Owe It To You. I Sometimes Wish, No I Don’t, No, Never. I’ve No Regrets. I’m Fulfilled. Just Still So Far So.. Cold. Weird. It’s Like War. Maybe. Who Knows? My Eyes Hurt. So Guess Only Tears Will Speak Silence. I Wonder How Long. I Wonder Why Long. I Sleep.

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