BlogJournal

Diary – 2020, September 24th, 00:40 IST

Dear Diary,

I Feel Like I’m Losing My Mind. I’m Really Really Scared. I Don’t Know What To Do. I’ve Tried Everything. I Channeled It All Into Rage But It Didn’t Work. And It’s Not Just Today. It’s Been So Long. This Feeling Just Doesn’t Go Away, And Yes It’s Not Just An Emotion. It’s A Feeling, A Strong Feeling. And It’s Bad. Really Bad. I’m Just So Scared. I Feel Utterly And Completely Lonely. I Feel Helpless And Restless. I Feel Like I’m Endlessly Falling With No Ground, No Hope, Nothing. I’m Falling Deep. And It’s Just So Overwhelming. I Really Really Wanna Just Run Away. I Cannot Bear To Be Here Anymore, Be In This Life. I Am So Much Tired, So Much Tired. I’m Tired Of All Spying, All Hiding, All Lying. I’m Tired Of Keeping It All In. I’m Tired Of Feeling Scared. I’m Tired Of Feeling Lonely. I’m So Much Tired Of Being Tired. I Have Been Sleeping Well Lately But It’s Weird… It’s Weird Because I Thought My Problems Would Go Away If I Sleep Well. But They’re Not. They’re Not. It’s So Weird. It’s Annoying, It’s Irritating. I Don’t Know What To Do. I Don’t Know Where To Go. I Don’t Know Who To Talk To. And And I Feel So Guilty. I’ve Amazing Friends And I Should Be Grateful And I Am, Very Much But Just… They’re Not Real. They’re Not Here. Nobody Is Here. And That Hurts So Much. And Just… What If Nothing Is Real? What If It’s All In My Head? I’m So Scared, I’m So Scared. I Wish I Could Close My Eyes. I Wish I Didn’t Have To See Anymore. I Wish I Didn’t Have To Hear Anymore And I So Much Wish That I Had No Skin. Then I Wouldn’t Feel The Fall. I Would Feel No Thing. It’d Be Nice. Serene. But I Also Wish It Wasn’t So Dark. I Wish I Was Away, I Wish It Were Simple. I Wish I Was Far, Far Away, With Just Me And The Green And The Blue And I Wish It Were All Real. I Wish I Could Sleep With My Eyes Open. I Wish I Could Hear How The Colours Dance. I Wish So Much, I Wish Too Much, Do I? I Just Wanna Be. I.. I’ve No Energy Or Too Much Energy And It’s Back, I Feel It Again… It’s Like An Aura Around Me, It Wouldn’t Touch But It Keeps Taunting. And I Live In Fear, In Death. I Think Of Death. I Don’t Want It. Not Because I Wanna Live. But Because I Don’t Want Anything. Everything Is Just So Mundane. Nothing Makes Sense. Nothing. And What Does Is Unreal. Unreal. I Hate The Word Even. It’s So Stupid. My Mind, It Feels Like Exploding, I Can’t Help It. I Feel Like Exploding, Bursting Into Flames Of Black Tar. I Feel Empty. I Feel So Much Suffocated I Can’t Breathe. I Keep Crying And Crying And Crying And It Doesn’t Stop But It Just Never Gets Warm. I Want Warm, I Need Warm, I Crave Warm. So Much, So Much. Because I’m So Cold. I’m Just So Cold. I’m Really Really Cold. I Wish Warmth So Much. I Wish.. I Wish.

ViVi.

Buy A Beautiful Diary.


Diary Is A Wonderful Friend. Do You Keep A Diary? Comment Down Below And Tell Me.


Read More Diary Posts Here.

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