Gods 101

Welcome To The Chapter-101 On Gods.

In This Chapter, We’ll Discuss About Gods, And Not The Real Ones, Just The Ones Made By Some Bored-To-Death Humans.

So, Lemme Tell You About A Recent Argument I Had With My Parents, An Argument Similar To The Ones I Had Before, Too, On Same Topic.


For Quite Some Time, I’ve Been Struggling A Lot With A Few Things. And So, My Parents Suggested…. Hmm… Accused Me That Whatever All Is Wrong Is Because I Don’t Believe In God And Because I Don’t Pray. Sounds About Right, Yeah? But I’ve My Reasons (Which According To Them Are Useless Since World Doesn’t Work On My Reasons).

Long Back, More Than A Year Ago, April 8th, 2018, I Went To The Temple Near My House. It’s A Shiv Or Mahadev (Prime Hindu God) Temple. So According To The So-Called-Rules, A Woman Is Not Allowed To Enter The Main Temple. Why? “YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW REASON FOR EVERYTHING!! JUST DO AS SAID!!” So, Yeah. That. But That’s Not It!

It Was Because Of Whatever Brain Disorder I Have Which Makes Me Say “Why” Automatically Every Time I Hear A “Yes” Or “No”, I Did Demand Of A REASON. But I Only Heard A Few Curses Under The Breath Or Something Like That. But Fortunately, My Not-So-Good But Sometimes-Good Paternal Grandma, Told Me That The Reason Has To Do With Women’s Menstrual Cycle. And Bam! There It Is Again.

So Now I’ll Tell You, Poor People, Clearly Why A Woman Can’t Enter The Main Temple Box And Touch The God’s Statues. It’s Because We Menstruate. And That’s Dirty, You Know. I Mean, Bloody Eww! Right? Women Are So Dirty Creatures. We Bleed Dirty Impure Waste Blood Every Month For Almost A Week, Give Or Take.

But Thanks To Sanitary Products, No One Can Find Out When We Do Unless Told Or Seen. And That’s Why, We Can’t Enter The Temple. Because Since The People There Can’t Know When We’re Impure, They Just Don’t Let Us In Ever. Why? Because They Don’t Want Us Impure Women Anywhere Near Their Oh-So-Holy God. Well, Okay, Kind Of. But, Wait. Here’s The Twist:

The Temple Which I Used To Go To, Has A Small Temple Of Same Shiv God Right In Front Of The Big One. Same God, Same Temple Ground, Just The Difference Is That The Other Is Smaller And They’re In Separate Rooms Or Boxes, Whatever. Now, People, This Little Temple Allows Women In. And They Can Touch The Statue All They Want. Hahahahaha.


Sorry, I Can’t Stop Laughing. (Yeah, That Was Very Cringey And Creepy.) So, Well, Haha, Yeah. I Don’t Really Need To Explain Further. You’re All Smart People. But Just In Case, If Someone Is Having Trouble, Here It Goes: There’s A Temple Room-1 Which Is Big And Has A Statue Of Lord Shiva. There’s A Temple Room-2 Which Is Small And Has A Smaller Statue Of Lord Shiva. Room-1 Doesn’t Allow Women In(Because We’re Dirty Menstruating Creatures). Room-2 Welcomes Women In(Because…. Well…Just Because?). Period. (Pun Intended).

So Let’s Continue My Adventurous Story. I Went There To Put Water On The Statue, As Everyone Else Does. But The Pandit(Priest) Didn’t Let Me In, Inside The Big Temple Room. So A Foolish Me Asked Him Why?

And He Said, “You’re Just Not Allowed. Go To The Other One, The Smaller One.

Me: No, I Want To Go In The Big One Only.

Him: No! You’re A Girl. You’re Not Allowed!

Me: Why? Why Aren’t The Girls Allowed?

Some People Whispering: She’s Their Grand-Daughter, Yeah, That’s Them.(Everyone There Knows My Grandpa Because Of How Influential He Is And Has Contributed A Lot In The Temple Works.)

Him: Just Go home And Ask Your Mother Or Grand-Mother. They’ll Tell You.

Me: No! You Tell Me! I’ll Ask Them When I Go Back. But Now, I Need To Go To The Temple. Even Parvati(Lord Shiv’s Wife, Goddess Parvati) Is In There, Too! And She’s A Woman. So I Can Go In There, Too. And I Will Go.

I Walk In But He Pulls Me Back.

Him: I Told You That Girls Can’t Go In There! Girls Wearing Pants Can’t Go In The Temple. AND DARE YOU STEP IN! I’LL SLAP YOU!

Me: FINE! WHO EVEN WANTS TO GO IN YOUR TEMPLE? You’re An Elder And I’ve Been Taught To Respect Elders. So I’ll Leave. BUT DARE YOU THREATEN ME!!!

And I Left There.

I Wanted To Say So Much More. I Was Filled With Rage. And Fear. For The First Time Ever, I Felt Like Wanting To Kill Someone. He Threatened To Slap Me! Who Does He Think He Is? Stupid Bastard!

I Never Went There Ever Again Because Of The Following Reasons:

  • The Temple Lost It’s Meaning Because Of Its Bizarre Rules. So There Is No Point In Going There. Besides, If God Really Is Everywhere As I’ve Heard People Say, Then I Don’t Really Need To Go To Temple To Pray. And So I Stayed Back.
  • I Was Scared. I Was Scared Of Something More Than Just Slap. And I Think You Can Understand. It Is Scary To Even Say. And So I Stayed Back.
  • I Was Furious. Very Much So. Despite My Understanding Of The First Point Here, I Was Still Furious. And I Feared That If Something Same And Worse Were To Happen Next Time I Go There, Then I Won’t Be Able To Stop At Just “DON’T YOU DARE TO THREATEN ME!!!” I Might Do Something Wrong. And So I Stayed Back.

But I Won’t Stay Back Forever. Today, I’m Powerless, Because I Don’t Know Martial Arts Or Any Way To Defend Myself Physically. I’m Powerless Because I’m Not Super Rich To Hire Bodyguards Or Own Guns. That’s The Only Two Ways A Person Is Considered Powerful In This World. But Fortunately, I’ve A Secret Weapon, A Weapon More Powerful Than Any Of Those Above. And I’m Developing It More And More. And Hence, I Won’t Stay Back Forever. I Won’t Forget You, Mr. Pandit. You Threatened Me! You’ll Bear The Consequences!

Oh, Oh. Don’t Worry. I’m Not Going To Kill Anyone. Not Even Close. I’m Just Going To Give Him A Piece Of Mind And Myself Peace Of Mind By “Politely” Forgiving Him. I’m Just Waiting For The Right Time. And It’s Coming Closer And Closer. It’ll Be Soon;)

So That Was A Hell Of A Temple. Pun Intended.


That Day, I Lost Whatever Belief I Had In God. But I Still Believe In Spirituality. I Believe In Magic. Just Because It’s So Exciting And Makes Me Feel Good In This World. And That’s Why I Thought Of Something. I Decided Not To Believe In The Version Of God Which Is Portrayed By The People Around Me, Including My Parents.

Instead, I Believe In A God Which Is Really Godlike. You Can Say That I’ve Created A New Religion Because There’s No Other Word To Describe What It Is. But It’s Very Personal. I’m Not Inviting Anyone To Join Me. Because It’s Completely Mine. I Don’t Want To Share My God System. If You Like My Idea, Just Create Your Own. Because My System Is For Me And Me Alone. And This Is How I Define It:


It’s Like This. In This System Or Religion Or Plan Or Whatever, I Can Anytime Anywhere Create Anything Or Anyone God And Pray To It. It Can Be That Statue In That Temple Or Even The Ceiling I Stare At Every Night Because I Can’t Sleep. It Can Even Be The Sky Or Water Or A Leaf Or A Stone Or The Air Or A House Or A Person Or… An Animal? Nah. I Am Not Particularly Close To Animals, So That’s A No-No! (No Offence!)

And I Particularly Love This Idea Because It Allows Me To Have Real Faith And At My Comfort. This Makes Me Have A Friend For A God. And That Makes It Super Easy To Thank And Apologize And Get Angry At God. It’s A Simple Relationship. Like How A Child Has With An Imaginary Invisible Or Visible Friend. Oh, And This Way, Even My Teddy Can Be My God! But Wait.

Now The Religious Faithful-To-Almighty Theist Ones Among You Might Say, “Oh Then What About Holiness? God Is Supposed To Be Holy. But You Make It Sound Like A Child’s Play. That’s So Wrong!” Then I’d Say, “Not Really.” I Never Said That I’ll Treat My Toilet Seat As God. I Mean, That’s Actually Gross Now. And I Won’t Feel Good About A Gross God. I, Too, Want A Holy Beautiful Clean All-In-One Angelic Looking Good. So, Yeah I Know How To Keep Things Holy. But You Know What’s My Version Of Holy?

It Is Everything That’s Inside Us. Our Soul, I Mean. That’s Holy. And Maybe That’s Real God. And Why Not? I Can Feel My Soul More Than I Ever Felt Someone Invisible Living Above The Skies. So I Can Have My Own Soul As God And Ask It To Guide My Imperfect Mind. Or I Have A Better Idea. I Can Treat A Person As My God. Maybe My Parents Can Be My God. Because So Far, They’re Only Ones Who Love Me And Care For Me And Guides Me And Publishes Me, Almost Unconditionally.

Although I Still Hate Them For Many Things, But Like The People Who Will Kill To Protect Their God And Religion(Religious Wars Like Those Between Hindu And Muslim Here), I’d Kill To Protect My Parents If That’s The Only Option. But I Won’t Do That To Protect A Statue Or Even The Thought Of A God Which The People Tell Me Of. I Might Fight To Protect A Tree But Won’t Kill. Although I Might Kill To Protect A Forest If That’s The Only Option Left. But I Won’t Do That To Protect A Fallen Leaf.

I’m Not Trying To Paint My Picture As A Violent Person. I’m Just Trying To Make You Understand The Difference In My Views And That Of Others Around Me.

My God, i.e. My Soul, And My Parents, Always Tell Me To Believe In Non-Violence And Follow That. And That’s Why I’d Do As My God Says. And Maybe You Other People’s Gods Say The Same. Then It’s Good. I Appreciate It And Respect Your Gods. But I Do Respect My Gods A Tiny Little More.

And No, I’m Not Telling You To Stop Believing In Your God Or Offending Your Gods. I’m Just Stating My Views Which I’ve Right To Do. And Also, Don’t Advertise Your God In Front Of Me And Tell How Better It Is Than The Ones Advertised By My Parents And The Pandit Because I Won’t Believe. I’m A Selfish-Bastard. I Like To Have My Gods For Myself. Hence The Person God System.

Again, No Offence, Disrespect For Anyone Or Anything(Except The Pandit, Of Course). Let’s All End The Discussion Here And Live In Peace And Harmony.

And Those Of You Who’re Curious About If I’ll Start A Revolution Of A Kind To Allow Women In The Temples, Nah! I Won’t. I’ve Got So Less Time Left Already. I Won’t Waste It On Something Stupid Like That When I’ve Actually Nothing To Do With That System Only. That Version Of God Doesn’t Want Me Because I’m A Woman? Fine. I Also Don’t Want To Pray That Version Of God. I’ve Got A Better Version Which Allows Me To Touch And Pray To It Even When I’m Bloody Eww;)

Oh, Yes. I Might Start A Revolution About That “Bloddy Eww”! A Story For Another Time, Indeed.

It’s Going To Be Interesting.

To Be Continued. Maybe.

Thanks For Reading.

Share Your Views Or Not.

Like Or Dislike. Wait. You Can Only Like. No Dislike Button Here And I’m Not Sorry;)

And Definitely Subscribe If You’d Like To Hear More Seriously Funny Stuff Like That!


God Atheism

Something To Ponder…

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