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Somewhere, In The Middle Of Nowhere… Lies Home.

“We’re torn between nostalgia of the familiar and an urge for the foreign and strange. As often as not, We’re homesick most for the places we’ve never known.”

Carson McCullers

I’ve Never Been To Home. I’m Homeless. I’m Solivagant. Don’t Know Where Am I Going, Don’t Know How Long I’m Gonna Go, But I Just Keep Going, Wandering, Lost, In Search Of Something, Somewhere I Fit In, Some Place I Belong To. I Do Have A Wonderful House Where I Live In, With My Lovely Family. And It Does Feel Comfortable, But It’s Not Home.

That Feeling Is Missing, The One When You Feel Like Home. I’ve Never Felt That. I Always Felt Monachopsis, Like I Never Belong To That Place. I Love My House. I Love The People I Live With. I Love The Neighbourhood And The Surroundings.

And, I Can Feel That It’s Constant. But, Yet, There’s Emptiness Inside Me, Which Makes Me Feel Incomplete. There’s This Restlessness Inside Me, Which Keeps Nagging Me, Making Me Feel Homeless, Telling Me To Go Find My True Home.
So, Where Is My Home? How Does It Look Like? When Will I Find It? I Do Wonder The Answer To These Questions. And I Think I’ve Found The Answer To Some. There’s One Thing That’s Like Almost A Part Of Me.

It’s Like A Very Strong Desire To Be Somewhere, In The Middle Of Nowhere, All Alone. It’s Like “I’m Homesick For A Place I’m Not Sure Even Exist; One Where My Heart Is Full, My Body Loved And My Soul Is Understood.” It’s A Weird Place, But It’s Like The Most Comfortable Place Ever. It Feels Like A Home I Never Had. It Smells Of Freedom And Liberty, Independence And Safety, Content And Pure Bliss. That’s What My Home Feels Like. I’ve Never Been There, But I’ve Dreamed A Lot About It.

Home

Sometimes, It’s Autumn, It’s Almost Twilight, Red And Yellow Leaves Falling On A Empty Path, Never Ending Forest, No Breeze, Not A Single Sound, Everything’s Just So Still, Like Time Has Stopped, Yet You Can Feel The Psithurism. But, Other Times, It’s Cold Winter Night, Chilly Fast Blowing Winds; The Same Kind Of Never-Ending Lonely Forest In The Middle Of Nowhere But With Moss And Pine Trees, Light Snow Covering Its Branches And It’s Just Darkness And Fog All Around, Yet Everything’s Visible. Ironically Time Here’s Running Fast.

It’s Like Everything’s Slipping Out Of My Hands. It’s Like I’m Trying To Grasp On Frozen Water But As Soon As It Touches My Skin, It Melts And Just Flows Out Of My Hands.

Both Of Places Have A Unique Feeling Of Content, Surrounded By An Aura Of Cozinesss, A Mellow Place, Where You Could Just Sleep Without A Care Of The World. It’s Even Stranger That The Same Lonely Place Encourages You To Do Things You Think You Can Never Do. It Gives A Strength Like No Other. You Always Feel Like Being In Power, Being In Control. The Feeling Is Just Euphoric.

They Say “Home Is Where The Heart Is.” And, My Heart Has Always Been In The Darkness, In The Loneliness And Wilderness Of The Forests. These Forests Are Just The Places Where I Can Get Lost And Still Find My Way Back, And Do It All Over Again. The More You Get Lost, The More You Find Things, Things Which Are Magical, Which Are Yours. The Fact That It’s Never-Ending Gives You An Amazing Thrill, Fills You With The Desire To Explore All Of It, To Find Innumerable Secrets In The Depths Of The Infinite Land. It’s Like These Forests Are Calling Me, And The Idea Is Alluring. But, This Is What Home Means To Me.

But, Maybe, These Forests Are Not My Home. Maybe I Belong Somewhere Else, Some Other Part F The World Or Another Dimension, I Don’t Know. Maybe, What I’m Actually Looking For Is Not What I Think It Is. Or Maybe I Won’t Fit In There. Maybe It Won’t Feel As Good As I Think It Does. But, I Know That I Do Have A Home, And It’s Somewhere.

And, I’m Gonna Find It, One Day. It Maybe Tomorrow, It Maybe Ten Years From Now, Or Maybe In Another Life, But I Know I Will Find It. Because There’s This Longing, That Ache To Be Somewhere I Belong, This Yearning Is So Strong, And It’s Getting Stronger With Every Passing Moment. This Hunger Will Finally Lead Me To My Home, And Finally, I Will Feel Complete. Until Then, I Will Keep Looking For It, Roaming In This Vast Stretch Of Forever Land, Searching For My Home.


Read More Posts About Life And Home Here.

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